Yes, blah. Because that is pretty much how I'm feeling right now. This week is looking like it is going to be pretty crappy, and at this point I am just hoping to make it through to the weekend.
The week started off badly with the bad news about my cat on Sunday, and it hasn't been getting any better. Monday we woke up to an unpleasant email regarding Lionel's grandfather who is currently in intensive care after a heart attack. Unfortunately, we don't have much news other than that for the moment...
Then today I woke up to head to Val de Fontenay this morning to see my two favorite students. But after four hours of chatting about everything and nothing, I left feeling even more depressed than I was Sunday and Monday. It was quite strange actually, and I don't know how the conversation even started, but for some reason we were talking about shopping*. The two women are good friends and so they started to talk about each other's style (all in English, don't worry) and give each other fashion advice. Then they turned to me to give me some advice and to tell me what they thought my perfect outfit would be (a dress, apparently...like that is ever going to happen!). Up to this point it was all good, we were talking about shopping and clothes...only natural for three women!
They continued saying that they really thought I should buy a dress the next time I went shopping, but that I should make sure that I bring a friend with me because it is always important to have a friend's advice when picking out clothes. It is, afterall, best to have someone else's opinion besides your own and a girl friend is best for this, NEVER your husband, they said. And I started to think in my head how nice some retail therapy would be considering the way this week started. I hadn't been shopping in forever (the last time I bought clothes for myself was in the US in August and it was all stuff I needed, nothing I WANTED), so I told myself to find some time to meet up with a friend and go shopping this week or over the weekend. And that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks...
...I have no more friends in Paris.
I wrote before about how all of my friends were leaving France to return home, but it hadn't really hit me yet that it had actually happened. You see, the last holdouts left last week on Monday and Friday respectively, and this morning when my students were talking about how great it is to go shopping with friends, the reality finally hit me that I no longer have any friends here.
Ok, that's not entirely true. I still have Svetlana, but she is so busy being the "perfect" Russian wife that I don't see her very often, usually about once every 2-3 weeks and its only for an hour or two for coffee.
So, while just 2 months ago I had a small, but great network of friends here in Paris and I found myself so busy between friends and Lionel that I thought I would never have a chance to just sit back, relax and sleep, now I am realizing that I am back to being all alone with nothing to do but spend time with my husband. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with spending time with my husband, but he is a homebody and sometimes I just need to get out and do things outside of the house and see people and have girl time. But it doesn't look like that will be happening anytime soon. For the first time in all my years in France I find myself with no one to turn to and no one to do things with and it just really hit home this morning while listening to my students talk about the importance of shopping with friends.
Looks like I'm really going to have to make an effort to go to some meetup groups now in hopes of meeting some interesting people and making a friend or two before I go insane by myself.
*I promise I'm not a horrible English teacher and we don't usually talk about shopping during my lessons!
An American living her life in two languages, first in Paris, then in Cincinnati and currently in Bordeaux, and talking about all the trials, tribulations and successes along the way.
pfff horrible english teacher.. I talk about things like shopping all the time with my students because they get sick of talking about accounting, finance, sales.. etc. it's a nice change of pace and I am sure they loved it :)
ReplyDeleteAs for not having friends, luckily Paris is a big city and i'm hopeful that you'll be able to meet some new people who are probably feeling just like you right now and are in need of some companionship. I kind of feel like i'm in the same boat but in a different way -- now that i'm pregnant (and about to burst, no less) I get texts less and less from my "friends", find out I've missed soirees and get togethers, and it's kind of depressing. Shows me what kind of friendships those were in the first place.
What I miss the most was in college where I was surrounded by people. Any time I wanted to go shopping or to a restaurant or out to a movie, there was always somebody willing to come along. It just feels like it takes so much more effort as an adult.
Good luck, and I hope that you can find a good quality shopping buddy soon :)
Hey, let me know if you ever want to meet up for a coffee sometime - I live in the 15th, so it's not *that* far from the KB.
ReplyDeleteAmber, thanks for the encouragement! And I agree, it is sooo much harder when you are an adult! And especially in a foreign country when the people you meet are only here for a year!
ReplyDeleteKsam, I just might have to take you up on that offer! The 15th isn't too horrible...
Hi Michele-
ReplyDeleteI found you from Piglet's blog. I, too, am an American living in France, married to a Frenchman, and sans les amis! Once the holidays pass I'm going to join some kind of group and get out and about...