Thursday, September 23, 2010

Pity party pour moi

Well, it's happened...Jasmin has officially left France to return to the US and start her life there.  Which means that I have one less friend in France today than I did yesterday.  She was one of my closest, if not my closest friend in France, and I'm not quite sure what I am going to do without her. 

Jasmin and I getting some wine

Jasmin was the one I could talk to about anything, the one I would go to whenever I had a problem.  She would always listen and I always knew she could give me good advice and that most times she could completely relate.  We could complain about students and jobs together, complain about France, talk intelligently about American politics, have tons of fun together, even when doing nothing at all, we would text each other all day while we were on the metro traveling between teaching jobs, she basically got me my new job, we would shop together, go to Bercy Village together, travel together (when we had the money, of course) and I would see her at least 2-3 times per week.  She provided me with entertainment and with things to do since my husband is more of the stay-at-home kind.  And now she is gone, and my life in France is going to change drastically (however, my wallet will be much happier).

Jasmin at the Super Bowl party

I've known for awhile that she was going to leave.  At first she was just thinking about it, but then in June/July she officially bought the plane ticket for September 22, and that's when I knew it really was going to happen.  However, even with all that time to prepare for it, it was still very hard to say goodbye Tuesday evening (I even cried...).

Jasmin and I at the Chateau de Chantilly

I know that in the end it's the best for her.  She wasn't truly happy in France, and she was dying to be closer to her family.  And now she is going to be able to start her "real" life with a real career and she will be able to see her family often.  I know it's best for her, but I can't help but be selfish and throw myself a bit of a pity party for the next few days as I deal with the fact that I have one less person here in France that I can turn to every day, at any moment.  I'm happy that she is going to be happier, but I'm devastated that she isn't here any more.  I know we are going to stay in touch and that we will remain friends, but it will be hard to not have her here to do things with and to talk to over coffee or a glass of wine.

Jasmin and I visiting wine cellars in Vouvray

Since I've arrived in France I've tried really hard to find myself a few good, close friends who I can rely on, who can keep me sane and who I can have fun with.  And every time I make the effort to find a very good friend, they leave.  Laura left after our year as assistants.  But Marybeth was still here.  Then I met Jasmin and we really clicked.  We had lots of fun together, could rely on each other for anything, had very similar situations, en bref, it was perfect.  And I really didn't think she was going to leave France.  In fact, when I met her, she had no intention of leaving.  But that changed, and now she has left too.  Luckily Marybeth is still here, but she is leaving to return to Canada at the beginning of November.  I'll still have my Russian friend, but she is very busy being a good, dedicated Russian wife and so I'll be lucky if I see her once or twice a month.  And there is Julie, my French friend, but she doesn't live in Paris so I can't see her very often.  And my new American friend, Amy, and perhaps that will work out well, but I don't know her that well yet, and chances are she will be leaving France next year unless she finds a job. 

For now I will enjoy every last minute that I have with Marybeth and I guess I might be spending more time with my husband's friends.  I can also spend more time with my husband, but when I want to go do things, it's going to be rough since I know I can't rely on him for actual activities, only watching TV at home.

It definitely looks like I am going to have to get out there and really make an effort to meet new people, make some new friends and hope that I can find someone else who I really click with and who can become a very close friend!  But I'm really gonna miss you Jasmin, you can't be replaced!

Jasmin with the silver monster in Tours


  1. It's awful to send a friend off on a new journey and feel left behind :( I know what you mean about people coming and going, and it is really hard to make friends with people who aren't transient! Good luck getting back out there, and I hope you can find some more people that you click well with!! :)

  2. now i am crying.....
    You are such a great friend and I am still there for you. I think about you all the time (really... all the time... thanks to you also because the pictures you gave me are one of my very few room decorations... and I see them all the time and think of you!)
    I love and miss you!!!.... sometimes even more than a certain other that will go unnamed but (he) will never read this

  3. amber, thanks for the support!

    jasmin, COME BACK!!!! miss you and love you too!