Thursday, April 15, 2010

Down in the Dumps

I know I haven't posted in a while, but I've just been so down in the dumps that I haven't really had anything interesting to talk about, nor have I really wanted to post.  All I've wanted to do was complain...about my life, about my job, about Paris, about France, even about my friends and my husband.  Let's just say the past few weeks have been pretty dark, even with all the sun we've had.

Unfortunately that has not changed and I'm still pretty down.  But I'm trying to find the motivation to do something to improve my situation, rather than just complain about it.

So, since I'm extremely unhappy with my job right now, I have decided to start looking for a new one (easier said than done here in France).  For the moment I'm not looking too seriously and I'm only going to send my resume to ads that REALLY interest me because I really want to go to the US for the month of August and if I can stick with my current job until then, at least I will have paid vacation to do it.  Otherwise I won't be able to go seeing as tickets to the US are EXTREMELY expensive (if anyone sees a flight to the Ohio area at a reasonable - less than 1000 euros - price, please let me know!).

So, I have found one very interesting position so far, and I sent my resume on Tuesday.  It starts in September which is perfect because I can continue my job, leave on paid vacation, then come back and start a new job.  Only problem is, it's still teaching English (which I REALLY don't want to do), but at least it is a fixed salary, paid vacation, a set schedule, all in one place and less hours than I do now...for only 50 euros less than I make on average in a month now!  I figure I can do that for a year or two while I try to figure out what will really make me happy and where in the world I have to be to do it.  I'm seriously beginning to doubt that I will be able to start any sort of real career living here in France.

Other than that, I am keeping my eye out for interesting ads outside of teaching (I know this will be a struggle, but I absolutely have to change or I'm gonna back my bags for the US and jump on the next flight home) and I will really begin to seriously search this summer.  I'm hoping that a better job will solve the problem as I think it is the main reason why I'm so depressed with life right now (though I am not sure and there are definitely other things that are making me unhappy).  Wish me luck and let me know if you hear of anything!


  1. Crossing my fingers for you! I know that down in the dumps is not a fun place to be, so I hope that you'll be able to find something that will motivate you to cheer up a little bit. Big hugs!

  2. Hi Michele!

    I am sorry to read this, but wanted you to know I totally understand. This gloomy place puts a damper on everything, doesn't it, including even wanting to write about it. Sometimes writing about things makes them better; other times it is almost worse as you just *don't* want to keep thinking about how bleak everything feels. Yeah, I know that feeling.

    I'm glad you're taking steps to see if a different job may be a way to alleviate the frustration you are feeling, and I wish you the best in figuring it all out.

    In the meantime, if you want a non-judgmental person to meet up with and just have a cup of coffee and bitch about life, I'd be up for it!! :) I have a friend in Villejuif and sometimes we meet at the Place d'Italie as it is a good meeting place for us both (I'm close to Line 7, too), and hang out at one of the cafés right there at the Métro. If it might help perk things up a little for you, I am here to just listen and nod if you need it. Let me know. I will also understand if it is just *too much* to meet new people right now. I've been in that place before, too. So either way (meeting or not) is fine with me. :) If you want to get in touch with me, I think my email is attached to my Blogger profile, otherwise just come to my blog and leave a comment there and I'll email you back.

    Here are some good thoughts for a lifting of the clouds!! :)

  3. Thanks so much for the support. I am really hoping that a new job will help the situation...we will see. I'm supposed to hear in May if I am shortlisted for the one I just applied for. Otherwise I'm looking around for other things as well.

    Karin, I would love to meet and bitch! I have a feeling my friends are getting a little sick of hearing me bitch and moan about my life right now as that's all I've had to talk about for the past few weeks...I'll send you a message and hopefully we can figure something out soon! I would also like to hear another person's perspective as I always talk to the same 2-3 people...

    Thanks again for the support!