The other day I was on the bus with my American friend, Amy, and we had a very strange encounter with an older French woman (read: nasty old française).
As we were getting on the bus we noticed that she was glaring at us and seemed offended by the fact that we were speaking (in English?). So we moved out of her line of sight and continued speaking in lower voices. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: Oh, look at that sign on the bus (pointing at a sign telling people to give their seats to the elderly, the handicapped and to pregnant women and showing a young man with a bunch of plants sitting in one seat and using another seat for his plants while and elderly man with a cane and a pregnant women are standing next to him), it's so true!
Amy: Yes it is! People never give up their seats to those who need them! Instead they try to act like they didn't even notice that the person was there!
Me: Yep! I'm always shocked when I actually see someone give up their seat. It's a miracle!
A little bit about how we need to go see the show "How to Become Parisian in One Hour?" Then:
Me: And look at that sign outside the bus (pointing at a sign in the window of a shop saying "-50% soldes exceptionnels"). Why do they say soldes exceptionnels? It's not very exceptional since it happens twice a year, every year, once in the winter, once in the summer.
Amy: I don't know. But it's true, exceptional isn't the best word to describe it.
Old French Woman (OFW): blah blah blah critique blah blah blah vomir blah. Si vous avez besoin de vomir allez ailleurs, loin de moi pour vomir.
Me and Amy: We just stare in shock and surprise with our mouths wide, not fully understanding because we didn't expect her to speak to us and at first didn't realize she was until she fully turned around. And at first I was trying to understand the vomir comment until I figured out that it must be referring to spewing nasty comments, not actually vomitting. But the old woman turns back around before we can say anything and we decide to avoid a fight on the bus and just return to our comversation.
Amy: So, speaking of soldes, I went with a friend to the outlet mall on Thursday and I found a Versace dress on sale for 85 euros. I just had to buy it because you don't normally see a designer dress, originally price over 500 euros for only 85 euros. Plus I can wear it on my dinner date this week!
Me: Wow! Not bad! I need to do some more shopping before the soldes end too. I want to find another pair of boots, and I need to take Lionel shopping to buy another suit for his new job.
OFW: (turns back around to stare at us) C'est de l'antisémitisme!!! (turns back around)
Me and Amy: Just stare at each other perplexed while half the bus stares at us and the woman. We have no idea what to say to this very strange comment.
Luckily we were almost to our stop, but as soon as we got off the bus we starting laughing and then tried to figure out what we had said that could possibly be understood as anti-semitic...
Or perhaps the woman just didn't understand English?